Facing Your Inner Fears: Lessons From Bhairava

A form that looks like what we dread

Bhairava is Shiva in his terrifying aspect. In the usual picture he is dark and wild, with bulging eyes, a garland of skulls, a trident and a drum, and a dog at his side. Nothing about him is comforting at first glance.

It is a striking choice. A tradition that wanted to offer reassurance could have shown a gentle figure. Instead it gave the fear a face, and then taught devotees to pray to it.

What the name says

The meaning of the name is explained in more than one way, and teachers differ. A commonly given reading connects it to the word for fear, so that Bhairava is "the terrible one." Another reading holds that he is the one who protects from fear. Some teachers also see the syllables of the name as standing for sustaining, dissolving and creating.

It is fair to hold these together. Bhairava is the fearsome one and the one who guards against fear. In the story, as we will see, they turn out to be the same figure.

The story of the fifth head

The best-known story is told in several Puranas, in versions that differ in the details. In the usual outline, Brahma, the creator, had five heads. Proud of his position, he began to claim that he was supreme, above even Shiva.

Shiva's response was to manifest Bhairava. In the story, Bhairava cut off Brahma's fifth head, the head that had spoken the arrogant claim. The skull stuck to his hand, and he could not shake it off.

This was not the end of the story but the beginning of a long walk. Bhairava wandered the world, carrying the skull as a beggar, until he came to Kashi. There, the skull fell from his hand at a place that tradition remembers as Kapala Mochana. He had been freed.

What the walk with the skull might mean

I find the second half of the story more useful than the first. The head is cut off in a moment. The carrying goes on for much longer.

Many of our fears are like that. There is the moment something goes wrong, and then there is the long period of carrying it. A mistake, a failure or an old embarrassment stays attached to us, and we wander around with it, wondering when it will drop.

In the story, it did not drop by being ignored or by running faster. It dropped when Bhairava arrived somewhere, at a place that held him. That is a hopeful detail. It suggests that the heavy thing does come off, but not by avoiding it.

The guardian of the city

At Kashi, Bhairava stays on as the protector. Tradition calls him the Kotwal, the guardian of the city, and pilgrims there often visit the Kal Bhairav temple as part of their journey. The dog that accompanies him is also part of the picture, and in some traditions feeding dogs is a custom on days sacred to him.

Notice what has happened to the fear. The terrifying figure is no longer the threat. He is the one who stands at the gate. The thing that frightened us becomes the thing that guards us.

Where this meets my own fears

When I look honestly at the things I avoid, I find that very few of them are as large as they seem from a distance. The fear is usually bigger than the thing. And it tends to be loudest when I have not looked at it.

The pattern in the Bhairava story points to a few small steps:

• Give the fear a name. Not "I am anxious," but what exactly. A specific fear is smaller than a vague one.
• Look at the worst case. Ask what would really happen, and what you would do next. Often there is a plan inside the fear.
• Take one small step toward it. Not a leap, just one honest step, such as sending the message or opening the file.
• Do not carry it alone. Tell one person. The skull is easier to carry when someone knows it is there.
• Let it become useful. Some fears are good guards. They tell you where to be careful. Ask what the fear is protecting, and thank it for that part.

Time and the biggest fear

There is another side to Bhairava, in his form as Kala Bhairava, the Bhairava of time. In this form he is linked with the deepest fear of all, the fear of time running out. People pray to him for courage in the face of loss, endings and death.

Whether or not you take the devotional side, the idea is useful. Many of our smaller fears are echoes of that bigger one. Facing the large one, quietly and honestly, often loosens the grip of the small ones.

A gentle note

This reflection is about the ordinary fears of daily life. If fear has grown into something that stops you from living, such as panic attacks, a phobia, constant dread or trouble sleeping, please talk to a doctor or a counselor. Spiritual practice can sit alongside that help, but it is not a replacement for it. Reaching out is a sign of courage, not weakness.

What Bhairava teaches

That the fearsome form and the protecting form can be the same. That the heavy thing you are carrying does not drop through avoidance, but through arriving somewhere and facing it. And that what once frightened you can, in time, be the one who stands guard at the door.